shu fox den

31:: 因為想要有一個錨定的地方可以告訴自己跟告訴其他人我最近在做甚麼，同時透過文字來整理自己目前的動向我覺得對於專注在當下有幫助，所以最終還是決定要創一個 now* 的頁面了。不過我也是有自己的隱私啦所以不會所有事情都會丟上去。

29:: 對健康三本柱有信心、對冥想／呼吸／禪坐有信心、對狐狸們與親友們有信心、對自由書寫有信心；灰狐與我並無二致，所以無所謂對灰狐生信心與否。

28:: 用佛教的語言來說的話，就是要對健康三本柱有信心。只要肯去實踐，就會重拾健康的身心靈。所以我要去睡前運動了。

27:: 「就像營養攝取盡量挑原型食物一樣，網路內容盡量挑簡單的內容適量攝取就好。」留言回應時的靈感。另外，這幾天吃的食物比較廢一點、社群刷了多一點，結果也的確反應在自己的身體與心理上。

25;; 了解事實：獨處的時候只有自己相伴，而其他對狐狸對喜愛的朋友們的思念都是妄念。不過也無須過於苛責，思念就思念吧，記得再拉回到健康三本柱就好（雖說這幾天因為上週晚睡而嘴破所以有點心煩）。

24:: 腦洞：我想那些部落格智者們之所以發文的頻率會越來越小，是因為這世間很多事情其實都是一再重複的，只是透過不同排列組合呈現出乍看獨一無二的表象。當他們發現某件事情其實是以前想過的同樣概念，那他們自然就覺得沒甚麼必要再去重說一次。不過接收不同事情時的感官體驗很明顯會不同就是了，但那些部落格的任務不在於把體驗記錄下來就是了。

24:: 這世間存在有許多價值觀。他們可能告訴你該如何思考你與金錢的關係；告訴你你該擁有怎麼樣的生死觀；告訴你如何有效地積累知識並且活化他們（我覺得這個算是用方法建立外在知識與我們之間的關係）。這些價值觀把我們拽往不同的方向，而在這過程中可能會迷失自己。這個時候，我想最好的方法就是先睡一覺，讓這些想法先沉澱下來；或者透過注意呼吸來暫時放下這些念頭（也是沉澱）。之後腦袋比較空了再回過頭來靜心思考。

21:: My understanding about Chan (Zen / meditation but in terms of Chinese context, specifically Dharma Drum Lineage): clarity, relaxation, present.

18:: 這兩天睡眠時間很少、社群用量也有點過量。調回來。

16;; 對狐狸們、與我互相喜歡的對象們滿心的感謝，依舊。

16;; 而會驅使我這麼做的主要原因，是因為避免一看到時間就想起他的情況。之前我只要看到時間，腦袋裡就會自動去計算他所在的時區的時間，然後會開始想這個時候的他在做什麼。之前的我會無時無刻不去思念著他，那是我單方面對他的愛的表現，現在的話一方面已經與他和好了，一方面其實也另外約定好跟他非同步溝通的方式，所以也就不讓自己還去做這種無謂且無用的心理勞動。

16:: 關於清楚當下，有一個對我自己而言很重要的訣竅：盡可能讓自己不去注意現在時間。實行方法很簡單。通勤時間抓長一點、各項 timeboxing 安排的待辦事項透過被動鬧鈴提醒來取代主動時間查看、平常培養清楚當下身體感覺的習慣，差不多就可以搞定好八九成了。

15:: 紀錄一下：

偈　◎鄭愁予

不再流浪了，我不願做空間的歌者
 寧願是時間的石人。
然而，我又是宇宙的遊子，
 地球你不需留我。
這土地我一方來，
 將八方離去。

13:: 另外就是基於第一天禪坐的昏沉心，昨天晚上很努力地睡了很多覺（但還是被熱醒了幾次），今天禪坐的過程確實比較有在持續注意自己的姿勢、氣息跟數息。還是會希望能達到雙跏趺坐來達成三點支撐的最省力效果，但現階段就先繼續單跏趺坐吧。（手滑買了蒲團）

13:: 蠻感恩這次禪訓班的經驗的。佛法禮儀跟宗教觀先不提，就核心概念的現在觀、清楚、放鬆都很具體地在活動中實踐。真要我挑的話就是午餐沒有太美味；不過作為一個免費活動，而且還沒有直銷一般地強推硬拉，完全是靠隨喜贊助，我覺得真的沒什麼好挑惕的。

12:: 第一天禪訓班結束。現階段最欠缺的恐怕還是睡眠。睡眠品質持續改善的同時，睡眠時間可能還需要拉長；或者準備睡眠的時間要早一點。禪坐則停留在單跏趺坐階段，要達到雙跏趺坐我感覺我要先把我的筋骨都拆斷了才有辦法。

10:: 重新給自己安排 timeboxing 之後，似乎比較容易掌握一天的作息了。主要原因除了印了一張一週作息放在工作桌上之外，也許是因為我盡可能讓每一天的工作時間跟休閒時間分別都落在固定的時間點上，所以只要我看了時間，我就會知道我現在是在一天的甚麼位置上。這種錨定的感覺也許蠻適合我的。

08:: 快速做了小實驗來數一分鐘有幾個念頭。測了三次的結果，觀測到分別有33、34、34個念頭。拆解來看，因為是一手托著頭一手按空白鍵閉眼在辦公室測試，所以有些念頭會來自姿勢本身、動作本身跟辦公室周遭的動靜。除了這些之外，還有自己的氣息，以及當下冒出來的各種零碎念頭。念頭有時候只是個關鍵字，有時候只是感官察覺到變化，都非常細微。

07:: 揮之不去的小感冒。

04:: 做了一個小實驗，給自己坐定之後讓思緒飄移，然後試著把出現的念頭記錄下來。結果發現我寫字的速度遠比我念頭冒出來的速度還慢，而且寫字的當下又會產生其他念頭。可能十秒裡面就會留意到至少三四個念頭，沒留意到的還不知道有多少。下次打算拿個計數器（或者空白鍵計數器*）數數看一分鐘裡面會生出幾個念頭。

04:: 生病真的是蠻打亂生活節奏的，沒有例外（好幾天沒運動，因為身體無力）。不過也是盡量讓自己養病養得舒服一點就是了（課金在家休息）。

03:: 休息兩天之後的上班日，症狀比較輕了，不過身體非常想要睡覺。

01:: 看了醫生，請一天的病假在家養病，希望可以康復快一點。

29:: Why my throat still feel itchy and wet cough still going on =“= this ill has been around for over 2 weeks =“=

25:: Like to look at myself in a mirror and then grip my abs hehe. Gotta train more on them.

24:: Also 我知道間隔學習法的重要性，但我 consume 影視作品一向都是馬拉松式的...想到之前還在唸書的時候的一個暑假，直接把絕命毒師全劇給一口氣追完...各方面非常不健康orz；再想想看要怎麼樣才能夠打造出適合間隔學習的環境...

24:: 環境對我來說太重要了。前一周末狐狸來我家用他的帳號登入 Max/HBO，這幾天我回到家就一直在邊運動邊看 Rick and Morty 的狀態... 也才發現原來我從第五季開始就漏看了好幾集所以現在開始補追...我比較想要臨摹音樂啦QQ。沒辦法，Rick and Morty series are good shit.

23;; 時時刻刻心繫狐狸們可能對現階段的我來說不是最好的策略，因為現階段最重要的應該是自我成長；但也不可能只顧著自我成長而完全不去關懷狐狸們。希望可以找到新的平衡點，然後好好經營自在吧。

23;; 快半年過去了。繼續打造適合自己成長的環境。

22;; 微感冒一個禮拜了，不喜歡一直維持這種狀態。

18:: 禪修的步驟：Youtube link

17;; 可能是因為周末參加活動的關係所以有輕微的感冒症狀：身體微微發熱、微微流鼻水、微微身體無力感。當然參加活動的時候剛巧與他比鄰而站（但他不知道我）也或許有影響到我的心態。妄念如是。

16;; A bit drained, feeling like to sleep more. Maybe I should leave office early today.

10:: If only there's a way to make them more approachable and enjoyable in a shorter run.

10:: I do have a handful of things to do, like reading some textbooks (in which I'm interested), making a fox plushie, doing chores, exercising, "playing" with new programming languages, financial planning, thermal printer (yes this still lies in my TODOs).

10:: After months of practicing a different lifestyle, I can confirm that I have little control when things that I love/like/enjoy/fond of/want surround me or occupy my headspace. Snacks and desserts, unfinished games, social media and very close friends, furry artworks.

04:: YES. The Carousel of Lumiere. (youtube link)

04:: 工作的專案總算有些顯著的進展了。

02:: The experience of Expedition 33 marathon (6hr+) was satisfying but also it drained my emotional capacity. I also skipped my workout which also contributed my somewhat negative thoughts. Having the ability to monitor my usage of time helps me expect how my emotion would be like later and how to prevent further depression etc.

02:: I think it helps to remind myself that there is a lifestyle that I can follow which leads to a stable, healthier mindset, especially after I had practiced such lifestyle for about a month.

29:: 認真想要開始臨摹喜歡的 music artist 的作品，然後認真想要做更多（文字或口語）表達的練習。

29:: Well, the fact that ChatGPT still can not implement or fix the algorithm which I wrote kind of comforts me. Just that the coding itself will become less important in the coming years for sure.

29:: It feels weird that I've been spending like half of my time just asking ChatGPT how to configure my Android Studio and Android project and fixing accordingly. I'm glad that I don't need to crawl through threads of Stack Overflow and Reddit only to find out that I still have to read the official documentation; buuut I kind of feel like I'm less important as a programmer and a bit more replaceable given that some entry-level programmer can do what I am doing as well.

28;; Having an open relationship (in my way) means that I constantly keep my mate and several close friends in my mind, though being physically long-distance makes it quite tricky, which had caused some turbulence back then. Now I find the balance between focusing my own life and thinking about them, but from time to time, I do have to bear the thoughts of missing the intimate times with them. Every lifestyle comes with a cost, but it’s always a good strategy establishing your own wellbeing and looking for your own fun.

27;; I'm glad though that at this stage of my life, I have a fox to attend to and find comfort from him when those scary thoughts strike in and haunt me. I'm glad that I see myself as a furry fox without a doubt, almost like a religion, though still abide by "the circle of life".

27;; At the same time, I am also afraid of the concept of immortality, all thanks to Hinotori Mirai-Hen. I can not bear the imagination of staying alive for another 100 years, 200 years, 500 years, 1000 years, 10000 years, 1M years, 1B years, 1 googol years, 1 quinvigintillion years (until universe dies). Time is frightening. Life is a curse. Cosmology explores the most horrendous truth about the border between existence and non-existence.

27;; I am afraid of the inevitable death, because I don't have a religion, and I don't believe in reincarnation tbh. I like the concept of The Egg, but it's just a concept, not the truth.

23:: JACOB COLLIER (heart emoji) (heart emoji) (heart emoji) Love his performance, love the band, love the spontaneousness, love the wild chord progressions, love the audiences, love the encore (heart-shape gesture with both paws).

20:: The trip was amazing. Would be even better if I could manage to stay in Hokkaido longer like a month or something.

20:: Went on a crazy trip to Japan, crazy as the schedule is pretty tight since we managed to visit both fox villages in a 5-day trip. One is near Sendai, and one is inside Hokkaido.

11;; I am fully aware that eventually it’s their own business to take care of their own mental health etc., but part of me still want to give them a warm hug and make them feel better asap. This mindset used to drain my own mental health though when interacting through instant messaging, so nowadays I prefer expressing my care and love in person (sync) or through email (async).

08:: Oh I LOVE Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. My work bgm rn: (Spotify link)

05:: Belfort & Lupin. I can’t stop smiling when thinking about them, they’re so sweet…

02:: I guess it's good though that I'm not stuck thinking that I HAVE to share something here. I just record things that are worth notetaking. What matter is that I have get those small things done.

02:: Partly I don't think it's worth sharing here I guess? Like spending lots of times trying to delete my old Gmail account, reading Lua and C documentation just for fun, migrating my following artists to FurAffinity / e621 / Patreon, had my old refrigerator fixed, small things like these. So tedious that I didn't even think about sharing it until now.

02:: I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I don't have much to say here recently. Mostly it's because most of my week are just repeating the previous week: cooking lunches, trying to sleep earlier, exercising more on my core and my cardio, etc..

27:: 又一個美好的週末：諮商新地點、牛肉麵吃太飽、拐錯彎、看守所、中正路67巷、擺接堡路、添福／湊合／熊空／插角、俗擱大碗桶仔雞、台式瑪格麗特、北113霧裡探路、鳥鳥抱枕、朦朧美景觀步道、細雨黑糖薑母茶、下雨但被路隊長所以犯睏、抵達飯店、取消螢火蟲改泡茶休息、把費的四方餅、溫泉湯屋、看廢片、運動風、吃早餐路上遊客大量發生中、臨時排往北行程、北109油桐花季、332幼犬郵差包、沿途美麗的山谷、值得等待的無敵鍋烤鬆餅、有點太熱鬧的桐花園區、健行半小時、想回家洗澡所以北110接祥和路、無敵少俠、Foxy/Flux、Expedition33

25;; 這幾天有點沒抓到生活的節奏，覺得情緒不是特別好；同時也減少了運動的意願。大概目前的課題比較多是職涯方面跟重建興趣的方面吧，覺得自我成長不夠（但也的確這段時間對煮食跟積極運動睡眠很滿意，即使這幾天有點落拍了）。隔天要諮商但覺得還沒準備好也是一個影響情緒的因素。

24:: 我好像很久沒有稱讚過自己了。應該要多留意自己進步的地方，然後給予自己讚美。

23:: Kowloon Generic Romance Opening (YouTube Link, Spotify Link). Very 80s-90s Japanese Anime vibe. Love it.

21:: Had a nice weekend with my fox, and we're not even traveling. I'm glad my fox encouraged me to explore local restaurants and stores.

18:: Reading AI 2027 (link). (Though only read the summary part) The "bad end" felt surreal to me and of course frightening. Probably should read into the details.

16:: See more at dublog’s article (link)

16:: Python, we already have enough package managers. We have pip, pip-tools, pipx, poetry, pyenv, twine, virtualenv. Now uv and pixi are coming into play =.= On the flip side I guess as a programmer one has to get used to constantly packing their own code stuff and switching one tool to another.

16:: 另外就是覺得需要重新鍛鍊大腦跟練習冥想。覺得注意力維持的能力還需要再加強。

16:: 待辦事項有點多，但光是煮食運動睡眠的時間確保之後，好像就沒多少處理的時間了。

14:: Once I get myself into solo mode mindset, I find it a little bit annoying when I need to respond to others emotionally - I have to activate my feelings towards them and then respond to them accordingly, and then deactivate so that I can go back to solo mode. And not until this finding do I realize that this might be how my close friends feel when they need to respond to my loving and caring messages.

10:: Replacing social media with e-books.

08:: Not feeling well about politics in Taiwan and the foreseeable war. Let alone social media.

06:: Had a 4-day holiday (tomb-sweeping): Had a lunch and a quick ancestor worship with my family. A routine jogging session with my friend. Found a cafe and working with my fox, then some unexpected hangout with close furry friends. Helped my friend do DTD (I didn't do much except offering the place). Spin biking. Cooked lunch boxes for next week. Nap. Went to 特力屋 (similar to Home Depot) and bought myself a new curtain for better sleeping quality. Thought about foxes. Planned for the coming week. Typing this.

02:: In general I am not into spontaneous/surprise trips, since I don't want to be caught off guard by unexpected changes. I want to feel calm and peaceful, not brainstorming throughout the trip. If I were taking such kind of trip, at least I need a heads up for that.

02:: It's quite fun to plan out and break down all the details of a trip. Not only making the trip possible, but also can see more clearly about what to expect during the trip, like picturing myself there.

31:: 目前想要寫的部落格文章：(1)拖很久的郵輪遊記、(2)小灰狐與我IV、(3)獨立自主：注意力／健康三本柱／GTD／開放式關係、(4)短篇文章試寫：獸圈與我

31:: 昨天跑了Zepro馬拉松。天氣很爛，但是跑況跟最終成績都很不錯！腳底沒有起水泡（除了禮拜四練跑長出來的以外）、膝蓋跟小腿沒有痠痛、大腿肌肉有充分利用到。看起來之後的跑步就是夾腳拖加五指襪的組合了。

27:: 投資好麻煩，因為錢沒辦法隨意地搬來搬去。銀行匯款單日單月有限額、網路設定約定帳戶開通要等兩天、股票交割要等兩天（Well, 我們付信用卡費也是拖到到期日才付款就是了）。可能需要了解一下這些服務的背後是怎麼運行的才不會心裡這麼不平衡。

22:: 有點想要練習更多呼吸跟冥想；不過同時有點想要花更多時間檢討自己的學習跟實踐能力，覺得自己身上還有些舊思維會綁住自己的行動（主要是與守成而不冒險相關的思維）。

19:: 總之就是沒事別亂滑手機，回頭去看 Notion 或者付費訂閱的文章可能更實在一點。

19:: 前兩個基本上已經不太會被 trigger 到了，因為已經有不少比較親近的朋友，而且想要跟他們認真聊天的話總有機會的（但前提是聊天主題要有營養）；第三個目前我的處理方式是「我知道在這個議題上有人會去持續關注並且我可以信賴這個人，所以我可以好好做自己的事情，並且了解他怎麼去處理這個議題」；第四個的話則是無視，或者只思考這個問題：「如果事情的受害者是我的話，我的立即應對應該是甚麼？（例如地震、遭人恐嚇、遇到無良商家）」，並且記錄下來，而不是任由情緒被消息影響。

19:: 雖然已經近乎是老生常談了，不過社群網站真的是每次逛完都會覺得心理不自在。不自在的根源不外乎是「這個人好厲害，好想要跟他成為朋友」、「我的朋友好受歡迎，還跟很多人在網路上互動，卻好像沒怎麼關心我」、「我們又被左邊鄰居（或者在野）亂搞了，真的是有完沒完」、「剛剛看了某個聳動的單一個案新聞，覺得心理很不安」之類的。

17:: Also I think my body figure is at its best form (maybe even better than the time when I was in military service), which I absolutely love. Another reason to feel good about exercising.

17:: Feeling good doing exercise everyday. The key is to design a 5 min quick exercise if having a busy or tiring day. Of course before that the key is to trust their own body that doing exercise makes one feel good through the chemicals like dopamine etc.

16:: Ok I still don't like traveling with my family. I just need way more breathing room.

13:: The news in the recent days are even scarier.

12:: 其實比較困難的是如何安頓好這些思緒並且說服自己把目光放開。目前比較常用的伎倆是問自己 “What’s Next?”，然後把目光放在即將到來的事情（例如今天晚上會跟朋友去看電影）。同時也安排好回想這些思緒的時間，並且回歸到自己能掌握的事情（通常是睡覺）。

12:: I gradually come to realize that only those things that I can control, I can depend on them. Those I can't control, it's better expect least to them. It's best for my headspace.

10:: It's really nice to see someone so passionate about their product (electronic instrument) that you can clearly tell how enjoying they are when they're demonstrating and playing with it. (youtube link)

09:: I accidentally restarted Edge and my draft has gone. Oh well, it's alright. The point I wanted to make was keep running (literally and figuratively) and stay healthy.

09:: Robot Dreams… pretty relatable qwq

07:: Feeling tired zzz. I think I have to secure my naptime at work, like 20 mins or something...

06:: Hehe cute :3 :3 (e621 link)

04;; 也許就是一個自給自足的 mindset 吧？當然還是會每週跟狐狸們見面或親密，但剩下的時間自己其實也可以過得很好這樣。但同時跟狐狸的關係依舊很深入，這種感覺蠻微妙的。Also 錫蘭的這集 podcast 算是多少有點帶到這種 mindset：(patreon post link)

04;; My sexual drive drops drastically these days when I’m alone. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love sex anymore (still very love cuddling and vanilla), it’s just that regular exercise makes me less lustful and needy. I even have to try hard to get off. I guess it’s a good thing? In that I can do my own things instead of thinking only about sex.

02:: I think eventually it would help clean up my mind. Just like how cleaning up my room would help me.

02:: Spend quite a lot of time cleaning my stashed furry artworks. I am a furry artwork hoarder, and I love collecting them and organizing them (not like e621 tagging system, which would take me forever, rather with tree structure, a more traditional approach). Now I’m only keeping the favorite ones, and I think I deleted about 90% of my files (in terms of size).

28:: Ha! I saved $520 today! (reason)

27:: 把自己的課題外部化也許可以短暫地讓自己好過，但總有一天我們所不能控制的外部會把課題歸還給我們。學習生存如是；學習愛自己如是；學習從生活中找到快樂如是。

27:: 人最終還是要面對自己的課題。

25;; Thinking of the commission artwork by Zhanbee (FurAffinity link). I want to thank her (yet again) for creating this artwork for me.

25;; Also I think it's okay to feel sad for a bit. Things will be okay (and things are objectively okay, just that I don't feel that way atm). I'll just wait for the sad mood to pass through and then get ready for the workout with a fox friend tonight, which I'm certain will do me good (friend + workout = happiness).

25;; Quote: "Instead of keep looking back, maybe I should ask myself "What's next?"" Yeah I'm the fox who tends to look for patterns. Sometimes it helps, but this time it harms. I think I should be creating a new pattern though so the old pattern can be replaced and left behind.

25;; It's so easy for me to focus on the pessimistic side of my life:

25;; Instead of keep looking back, maybe I should ask myself "What's next?"

24:: Tipsy fops uwu $x^2+y^2=1$

24:: 有點覺得我還是欠缺經商的思維。我的意思是說，我內心只會把我的工作看成是我剛好會做這些專業的事情，然後順便可以領到錢，而不是我跟雇主之間協商好的勞動契約。更深層來說，我覺得我沒有很重視自己所擁有的籌碼（金錢、專業、知識）並且善加運用他們。

21:: I use ChatGPT as my life coach. I first collect good life hacks (things like "should I prefer method to outcome" and "do you agree that learning with practical purposes like job landing will kill the passion") and then I ask it the question. Most of the time it gives general but good answers and I don't need to spend half an hour to Google it online and puzzle the answer myself. I think ChatGPT is helpful in this context.

20:: Doghaus <3, link here.

19:: Gratitude towards foxes.

17:: 想到前幾天我睡眠很差的那一天半夜（2/12），我早上五點醒來後就一直處在憤怒的狀態，我印象最深的是我的腦內小劇場拚了命把自己帶入到身心靈課程裡面瘋狂懟導師，罵到我想像中的導師啞口無言，要他們叫負責人出來，還鼓譟台下的學員們既然花了錢就不要受罪，好好把情緒發洩一番排隊來罵導師罵到爽。我就這樣一路罵到早上七點的樣子。

14:: 總之我覺得這個想法蠻重要的。應該要把這些想法記錄在我的 Notion 裡。嗯嗯。

14:: 其實這也跟親自拜訪朋友跟朋友吃飯的情況一樣。既然跟朋友聚在一起了，那就好好地陪伴朋友，而不是一直被其他雜事給打斷。

14:: 我覺得對於那些不在身邊的（國外的）親友，我也應該要與他們約定好一個時間透過通訊軟體互相聯繫，無論是文字也好，還是通話也好。這樣做的話，我一方面可以把自己的時間保護好，一方面也不會因為臨時傳訊息而讓自己的情緒有所起伏（對方甚麼時候才會回我？我該不該現在回對方話？對方很高興想要繼續聊的樣子，但我現在想睡覺，怎麼辦？）。

11;; 有時候／哭一下／就好了

11;; Chlorine.

10:: I don't feel like to make new friends either. I have enough close friends.

10:: Now I just put my own health in the first place and try to keep in touch with my close friends. Furry conventions are not necessary to me anymore, unless my friends and I are going there together.

10:: I guess knowing what is happening (outside of my friends and neighborhoods) in Taiwan or in the U.S. is not my top priority for now. I just don't want to spend my energy on what I don't have power over.

09:: 今天也太冷 ="=

08;; I’d be alright. Just a minor symptom.

08;; Though a midnight unsolicited intrusive thought, I still managed to rehearse the worst scenario and the 2nd worst one in my mind. At least I know what to expect if one of those scenarios is triggered.

07:: I need that Belfort & Lupin animation RIGHT AT THIS INSTANCE <3 TwT

07;; 陳奕迅跟張雨生的歌真的都蠻容易勾起我的思緒。

05:: 在不過度暴雷的前提下多說一點關鍵字：執念、病床、輪迴的縫隙、禮儀、時間的非線性、隙間的旅人／靈魂的交會處、鏡子、落日食堂、放下執念、與引路人共舞、回到日常。

05:: 參與了《落日月台》。整體來說是個有意思的體驗，不過對於一個內向者來說，體驗是在活動結束之後才會持續醞釀的。

05:: 學習保護好自己的時間。

04;; 有閃過與一些平常見不太到面的朋友親密的念頭，不過很快就拉回到工作上了。念頭留到以後再來想就好。

04:: 很專注在上班，不過昨天晚上比較晚睡而且被子蓋不夠暖，所以睡眠品質稍微差一點，上班沒很久很快就覺得累了。

03:: 我喜歡 Sketch (Log) 這一頁所呈現的樣子。真的很喜歡。

03:: 好啦最後一則了等等去工作。今天把一個委託 idea 想得差不多了，覺得很開心，但同時也不知道該找哪個繪師去畫這個委託，有點苦惱。我對於我在意的作品標準有點高。主題大約是水中的 shu 仰望上方，所以我需要很會畫水流，同時也很會畫狐狸獸人的繪師。難找。

03:: 其實這邊應該只是快速紀錄想法而已，不過因為這些積累已久的想法實在想要倒出來了，所以就容許我當個薪水小偷，多寫一點在這邊吧。

03;; 也許我把這邊的部落格給暫時完善的原因也僅僅是因為他：我想把這樣的想法記錄下來，然後讓自己得以喘息，不再被這樣的想法給控制。我喜歡他。至於他喜不喜歡我，這不是我能左右的。我想把念頭分更多到我自己身上，一些給米諾，再一些給我平時常見面的朋友們，然後再一些給我平時見不到面的朋友們（包含我喜歡的他）。

03;; The source of the stress, I still like him a lot. Just that I need my mind to rest and stop reminding myself of him constantly. I don't want to part ways with him for sure, but I don't want my mind to be unwillingly occupied with nothing but him either.

03:: Twitter, Bluesky, now they kind of give me stress when I'm using them. The stress is subtle, but it's certainly there. I would like to interact with mutuals directly on Telegram, instead of having the app showing me the home page of some person's update.

03:: 也許只是一時興起才想要這麼做，但我覺得與其等到 Docusaurus 完工的一天，還不如直接利用現成的工具(bearblog)來達到我原本的目的－－大幅減低社群軟體的使用方式。

03;; And unfiltered (mostly).

03;; Writing things here gives me less stress and express however I want.

31;; Those songs with lyrics, I used to not care much about them. Now my headspace automatically sets a scene for me when the topic of the lyric is about love.